


not clean

by orphan_account



Series: we promised the world we'd save it (what were we hoping for?) [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Sam in Hell, what else do I even put here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5499383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the story of sam's quest for the holy grail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not clean

white bright migraines  
holy agony.  
_finally, finally._  
32 years of your life  
spent on dread, guilt, blame  
self-loathing  
and the promise to be good.  
turns out,  
pain was purity.  
someone valued  
_your life_  
above trust  
above God.  
and you can't _ever_  
rip it out, or scrub it clean.  
repeating simple phrases  
just to stay awake.  
and then, _and then,_  
you're given a second chance.  
this time, he's not in the way.  
pain  
is  
purity.  
(not this time.  
condemned,  
damned.)  
you watch, a shell  
as the boy who tried _so hard_  
to be pure,  
to repent for a sin he didn't commit  
is thrown to the hellhounds.  
you don't know if he'll save you  
this time.  
you don't know if you deserve  
to be saved.  
what made you think  
you could go  
on a quest like that?


End file.
